Years ago I was just an infant…a tiny innocent soul. But that was 22 years ago.Today I get to start another chapter of my life…Chapter 22
Nothing says you are in your early 20s like a good ole’fashioned panic attack about your life choices and the fact that every move you make is extremely critical to the path you’re going to go down for the next 5 or 10 years… don’t get me wrong! I am thrilled to have made it this far. Growing old is a privilege denied to many and I thank God for being among the lucky ones.
Twenty two…A simple digit but, for a simple number it certainly brings more than just simplicity to ones’ life. I was never really one to worry much about life decisions, maybe because back then I had people make decisions for me.I didn’t have to face the challenges that came with making choices because it was simple… I didn’t have to make any.
The transition from 17 to the years of adulthood is one that many of us don’t really notice until we’re faced with some sort of challenges and realize that it’s not up to mummy or daddy anymore but rather it is up to us to actually come up with a solution.They say there’s nothing worse than regret. If there is one thing that I regret is the fact that I failed to enjoy my years of being a teenager and I assume many of you out there failed to do the same thing.
We were so ready to flap our wings and roam the world as we pleased.Most of us couldn’t wait for our 18th birthdays so we could finally tell our parents off and do as we pleased because we would finally be grown ups ( which I never tried doing 😂,they will kill me).That urge to finally be free from all the rules and regulations, that was what drove most of us. It was the one thing that we were looking forward to as we thought of ourselves as adults.
We were so focused preparing for the future that we forgot to live in the present moment.Some of us even skipped right ahead to being adults at the age of 13.We just couldn’t wait to make our own decisions and have no one complain as to why we chose to do or not do certain things or why we preferred to be or not to be something. That great feeling when you finally enter a bar and not be scared that you are underage.We were all so eager to get to the famous stage of adulthood…
and then adulthood met us.
It’s like one day you are 17 and you’re planning for someday.And then quietly,without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life...The eager to grow and be an adult subsides and the sentence “when I grow up”, ceases.We get to finally be free and get to make our own decisions as we’ve always imagined it would be but…yes there is a but because, it’s not exactly as we imagined it would be. There is no manual written “How to adult”
You get to figure out everything on your own, you get to be your own manual.You get to finally make your own mistakes and regret decisions made. You get more responsibilities on your shoulders and no one necessarily stands beside you to help you. You get to make important choices for yourself and take accountability for what you’ve chosen and you learn to recognize your weaknesses and either work on them or accept them. As if that’s not enough, you learn to enjoy being alone, you get to work on knowing yourself more, standing up for yourself and those around you. So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just GOOGLING YOURSELF and finding million answers that all seem to need more googling.
Sodas and juice boxes eventually become vodka and beer. Bikes become cars, pigtails turn into Brazilians and kisses become sex. You look back and remember when your dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth and your mom was your hero and realize now you get to climb walls and mountains and get to be your own hero. You remember only knowing physical pain as you skinned your knees and realize that for some reason physical pain wasn’t pain anymore because you get to be hurt emotionally. Heartbreak, headaches you name it. You remember how you couldn’t wait to grow up and for a few minutes you regret growing up so much that when you pick up a crying baby you think to yourself “it’s okay buddy,when you grow up you’ll learn how to do this on the inside”.
Your life becomes one Big “ I don’t know” and your moods circulate between I am too old for this, I am too tired for this, I am too sober for this and I don’t have time for this. It comes to a point where you have to choose between two directions…Lost or Very lost
Don’t be scared…that’s just part of it.
when you think you only have two options to choose from, being lost or very lost, you realize you are not lost or even very lost but instead you realize you are just on your way…On your way to better yourself, on your way to achieving what you want, and on your way to a whole new life out there.
Trust me there is perks to growing up. You remember those PG 16 rated movies that you weren’t allowed to watch, well you get to have a folder of movies like that. You get to enter places that say Parent supervision is advised…without your parents. You get to be invited to dinner dates and masquerade balls. Basically you get to explore and experience life on your own terms. And who wouldn’t want that? Who wouldn’t want to skip that Immunology class and stay in bed watching mistresses and Real husbands of Hollywood without faking a cold?
In the past I used to think, what if there was a button that I could push and all of the things that have complicated my life will just unhappen? I would push it and all of the people that shouldn’t have died would still be alive. I wouldn’t have hurt anyone or disappointed them. And no one would have hurt me or lied to me. And this whole mess would just be cleaned up.But then I grew up and so did my thinking. I realized if I pushed that button, I would be gone too. I realized I am me because of what has happened,what I’ve done and because of who I loved. I love that person. That me, messy and all.
As you age, Life gets interesting really.You realize everyone you meet has a part in your story. And while some may take a chapter, others take a paragraph, and most will be no more than scribbled notes in the margins.You change…it’s inevitable but, progression from one point to another is a choice you learn to make. You learn to be the one who matures and builds. You learn to be the one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart.You learn to be the one who looks for the best in people…and lastly you learn to leave people better than you found them. See the beauty in aging?l do😊
I will stop here.I will leave the rest to your own experiences.
I don’t regret growing old. I am grateful for the fact that I got a shot at this once In a lifetime age. Thank you God.
Just being 22 got me so curious I can’t wait for 92☺️
Date of birth: 27th October 1995