The ugly truth of life

A lie…



Google defines it as an intentionally false statement. I call it the ugly truth of life. We say we don’t like liars and we hate people that lie, but the truth is, we all lie. Tell me you have never told a lie…but be honest with yourself.  
I say we all lie because that’s just what I think. Because one way or another we have all lied. It’s either we lied to those around us or we lied to ourselves, but a lie is a lie.

You remember that time when you told yourself what you did was not wrong and you did it to protect someone, well you lied to yourself. They say lies are meant to deceive one but that’s not all…at times we lie so we make ourselves feel better. We avoid the truth because we want to believe there is some good in us or because we are hoping our lies will eventually become the new truth.

Take those that commit suicide for instance. They tell themselves the world is a better place without them, they tell themselves people are better off without them which is not true. They say these things so they at least feel good about what they are about to do. They say the world is better off without them so they think by killing themselves they are making a world a better place, that they are heroes for doing the world a favor. See, they lie to themselves so it’s easier for them.

So yes, we all lie one way or another. When you fancy someone and they don’t feel the same way you tell yourself, he or she wasn’t really your type. Yes he or she was your type, but you lie to yourself so it doesn’t hurt too much. You say you were never really into them so you make yourself feel better. So yes we all lie.

When you don’t get what you want or when you fail at something, you tell yourself you were in a bad place and you didn’t really focus, or you tell yourself you weren’t really interested or that you only did it because a friend insisted and you didn’t want to let them down…maybe yes, but you say this because the thought of failure makes you sick to your stomach.

 I remember this one time I entered a beauty pageant. I was positive I was going to take at least one title home…and then I didn’t. So this lady comes up and tells me they couldn’t let two people from the same school take titles while other schools go with none. She told me “you will get your 2nd princess presents later”…until this very day, I didn’t get anything. Somehow I knew I was never getting those presents but I believed her lie. I kept telling myself I won but I made a sacrifice so that all schools that participated can be happy. I kept telling myself I was a hero, she lied to me but I believed it. I knew it was a lie, but I believed it hoping it will become a new truth but it didn’t. It was a good lie though…I mean it hurt less wherever I told myself I won and made a scarifice and somehow my confidence wasn’t shuttered.

So yeah…we all lie

But I guess a lie is only bad if you are using it to manipulate or deceive those around you but, if you are lying to yourself so you don’t feel damaged or weak, lying to yourself so your self-confidence isn’t shuttered, lying to yourself so it doesn’t hurt as much, then keep lying to yourself my person. They say fake it till you make it. 


Just be careful what lies you tell yourself.

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Dear Time

Most times we complain that you are not enough,

We complain that we need more of you, and yet we waste most of you focusing on the wrong things.
We complain that you are not enough because for some reason we forget that it’s not how much time we have but how we spend the little time we have. They say time is an illusion, I don’t know if it’s true but here is what I ask you…

If time is really an illusion, then it’s all in my mind,
If time is an illusion then It’s not how many months we have left or how many seconds we have to spare,but instead it’s our perception of time that really matters.

So time;

Teach me to acknowledge your presence,
Teach me to acknowledge how precious you are,

Teach me to live everyday keeping in mind that the next second is not guaranteed,

Teach me to value and appreciate every second and minute that you offer me,
Teach me the meaning of time
 Yours: Me

P.S

Choose to live by choice and not by chance…
Choose to make changes and not excuses…

Choose to be motivated and not manipulated…

Choose to be useful and not used…

Choose to excel and not to compete…

Choose self esteem and not self pity…

Choose to listen to your inner voice and not the random opinions of others…

Let the past be your lesson,the present your gift and the future your motivation…

Whatever you do,never run back to what broke you…

Remember you are always one decision away from a totally different life,



Don’t stop until you are proud 

Not my words

I didn’t write the next piece. I took it from one of my favourite blogs ever Marc and Angel. They have so much to give and I wanted to share that with you guys. So here it goes…

The older you grow, the more quiet you become. Life humbles you gradually as you age. You realize how much nonsense you’ve wasted time on.

The biggest nonsense creator of them all?

Your mind… and the fantasies it likes to project into every facet of your life. You’ve likely fantasized your way into headaches and heartaches hundreds of times in the past! And you aren’t alone either.

We all stress ourselves out… because of fantasies.

We all procrastinate to the point of failure… because of fantasies.

We all get angry with others, with ourselves, and with the world at large… because of fantasies.

We all miss out on many of life’s most beautiful and peaceful moments… because of fantasies.

This might seem hard to believe at first, so let’s look at some super common examples…

• When we wake up and immediately start fantasizing and worrying about all the things we have to do, we aren’t really doing anything but adding stress to an otherwise pleasant morning.

• When we fear the potential of failure, and we procrastinate in response to our fear, our fearful fantasies force us to miss great opportunities for success.

• When someone upsets us, this is often because they aren’t behaving according to our fantasy of how they “should” behave. The frustration, then, stems not from their behavior but from how their behavior differs from our fantasy.

• When we think about making a healthy change in our lives (like getting in shape), we are initially inspired by the fantasy of how easy it will be, but… that’s not reality. So when the reality of working hard to exercise and eat right surfaces, and it doesn’t match up with our inspiring fantasy, we give up.

• When we’re having a conversation with someone, we’re distracted with fantasies of how this person views us, or we’re distracted by our propensity to fantasize about how to respond before they even finish talking, and thus we miss the opportunity to connect more deeply with them.

• When we move through our days, our minds are stuck fantasizing about other times and places, and so we miss the pleasant surprises and simple pleasures surrounding us.

Of course, sometimes we get out of our own heads long enough to focus on the present and make the best of it, but it’s NOT often enough. So remind yourself, as often as necessary, to see the moment for what it really is, not what you think it should be. Accept it, so you can make the best of it…

Do what you have to do without worrying and fearing the worst, lamenting about what might happen, or obsessing over how difficult your work is. Just begin, take it one step at a time, and do the best you can.

See others for who they are, and accept them, without needless judgments. Choose not to allow their behavior to dominate your thoughts and emotions. Just be present and accepting. Then decide if you want to spend extra time with them. If not, part ways peacefully.

Carry your presence with you wherever you go. Appreciate the little moments. Remind yourself that there are few joys in life that equal a good laugh, a good conversation, a good morning walk, a good afternoon hug, or a good deep breath at the end of the day.

In the end, we can fantasize all we want, but it doesn’t improve our reality.

Just think about your life and what happens when you let your fantasies get the best of you.

It certainly doesn’t lead to happiness and success.

When you constantly tell yourself little self-deprecating lies — fantasies — you start believing them and your behavior naturally backs the lies up. You start procrastinating. You put your biggest goals on the back burner. You always feel guilty and regretful for not taking action. You give up when the first obstacle comes your way. You blame others. Your important relationships take a major hit. And the list goes on and on.

And you know what the really scary part is? Most people don’t know they are digging themselves a hole by repetitively listening to their fantasies and the negative self-talk they produce.

To get yourself out of this mess, you need to literally rewire your brain and replace the negative, distracted mindsets with positive, productive ones. For example, instead of saying, “I don’t think I have what it takes,” you must start saying, “I can figure this out!” And by doing so, you’ll stop saying, “I’m not ready yet,” and you’ll start taking action because the new mindset is something along the lines of “I am ready to learn and grow!”

As I’ve said, there are dozens of different variations of fantasies that can hurt your self-image and — as a result — your immediate happiness and success. But it’s also important to remember that they will affect many other areas of your life in the long run too, like:

• Lack of confidence at work

• Heart

You can run but you can’t hide 

The human brain is a terrible place to live in. One minute you want to live in it because that’s your safe haven then the next minute you want to run away from it because you can’t stand your own thoughts and troubles that you have in there…but we can’t run from it. So we turn to a coping mechanism that seems to be everyone’s favorite…we avoid what’s bothering us and we try to destruct ourselves from the ugly reality. We watch 10 movies in a row, we start a fight for no reason, we turn to our best friend alcohol, and we start a rumor about someone else, just so we get to think of something else except the one thing that is really bothering us.

See what I mean… A TERRIBLE PLACE TO LIVE IN

Avoiding the situation actually works. For a moment there you get to not think of anything but happy thoughts,But the problem is, it never really lasts. If you opted to avoid the problems you face by starting fights, you start pushing away everyone that ever meant anything to you, and if you found comfort in starting rumors, eventually you become the girl that everyone hates because she said something about everyone.

My point is, avoiding your troubles won’t make them go away. They will wait until you are you again and they will become intense and unbearable every time you try to avoid them. You will think you are solving a problem by avoiding it but all you are doing is creating even more problems for yourself. Do yourself a favor and opt for a different coping mechanism.  

It won’t be easy, we are all still struggling to adjust to whatever life throws at us, but the strong are surviving, not because they don’t try to avoid their problems at all but because they try to work them out more often.

Just take it one step at a time. Rome wasn’t built in one day, and you certainly won’t solve all your problems in one day…even if you kill yourself, you still have to face the big man.

There is no escaping the mind and all its torments, there is just learning to work it out. If it doesn’t work out then make your peace with it and move on knowing you tried and you didn’t try to run. 

#Just saying…

Caption this *📸*

Social media… the one place that you get to know all the ugly and the good about everyone. You stalk a person from their Facebook, instagram and twitter account and you get this feeling like you know them like the back of your hand. We tend to believe it all, forgetting that most of the times the life we portray on social media is nothing compared to the real thing…the behind the scenes of our life is much more complicated. Maybe some people’s lives are exactly the same way as we see on their instagram and twitter feed, but I can assure you, for majority of us, social media is the life we make up for ourselves. 

You can see that it starts with something as simple as our names… Rock my world_not your gal, something something luscious, Home boy something…see what I mean, it’s mostly all made up.

Now you find those of us that like to know everything about everyone finishing our data bundles to find out what a certain someone has been up to for the last 7 years, yes we go that far trust me. We see what’s up and we decide to give a title. The same way we caption our pictures, we decide to caption people’s lives based on their Facebook and instagram feed. Now this is where we get it wrong. A person’s life on social media is not exactly the same as the life they live. People are going through things people! and the fact that they don’t tweet them out doesn’t mean their lives are perfect…

Message …


DON’T BE QUICK TO JUDGE; WHAT YOU KNOW ON SOCIAL MEDIA IS JUST HALF OF IT. Yes on Facebook she uploaded something and mentioned something about a great life. Well at times that life is not as great as you think so don’t go around putting captions on people’s lives from what they choose to show you. That bright smile that you see on their profile picture can be a cry for help for all we know.

  

People choose to take a selfie and fake a life.



So be careful what you think or say about the lives you see on your news feed.