Enough with the bullying

I Came across this one heartbreaking story on my twitter feed today. It was titled “10 year old commits suicide after video of her fight with alleged bully surfaced online“…One doesn’t even need to read the whole story because just the first 5 words are already shocking…

10 year old commits suicide

10’year olds don’t commit suicide…They have tea parties and play princesses. They go for slumber parties and discuss the sleeping beauty and Cinderella stories. They don’t commit suicide…but this one did. This poor girl felt the need to end her life because she saw no purpose to it. This princess felt the need to end her life because she couldn’t find her worth anymore.

I was never bullied but seeing that a kid that small felt the need to end her suffering by ending her life, I can just imagine how painful she must have felt. At 10 kids are supposed to be seeing rainbows everyday and wishing onto the fairies. At 10 kids are busy preparing for santa to bring them gifts…they are not busy plotting their deaths.

It’s really sad to see that this girl felt she had no other choice but to end it all. I mean whatever happened to schools being the one thing kids looked forward to every day?

The whole Bullying thing is just messed up. A kid that young is supposed to feel comfortable and open to expressing how she feels, a kid that young is supposed to feel like she has many options to choose from but suicide isn’t supposed to be on the list.

Just reading the story made me realize that there is need for mental health education in our educational systems...some will argue and say we have sex education but that’s just it...sex education is not mental health. Yes we are all aware of the ABC rules but we not informed on what to do when we are called names by our peers or when they make fun of our appearance…with an introduction of mental health in schools kids will be able to know what to do when they are victims of bullying. Emotional pain is one of the worst things anyone can go through...Such pain is hard to overcome because it is embedded in ones brain… the words said to them, the physical abuse and the feeling of being unwanted keeps replaying in their mind.

I read the comments on the story and one guy expressed how he was bullied but was always told to fight back…

This is the problem with us people. We fail to realize everyone is made in a different way. We fail to realize not everyone is as strong as we may be. You see fighting back as an option but I simply want to move past the torture without resolving to violence as an option. We need to realize that sometimes people just need to be told they are worth it despite what the outside world says, sometimes people need to be reminded it’s not the opinions of others that matter but ones perception of the self that truly counts. It’s not always about fighting back…sometimes people just need someone to tell them they are enough despite what they might be going through.

If someone comes to you complaining that they are being bullied in any sort of way, let it be your responsibility as a parent, teacher, or friend to remind them whatever is happening is just a chapter in their story, remind them they are enough and are worth it despite how they feel in that moment, remind them they have the courage to rise above whatever they are experiencing and come out on top. Remind them they are amazing despite what some people may think.Make it your responsibility to remind victims of bullying that they have a choice …we always have a choice.

To everyone being bullied out there;

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life but define yourself

Tim Fields

Remember they insult and hurt you because they are insecure about something they lack…they want to be you only they don’t have your courage. Don’t fall for their traps to break you because baby you are enough and no one can take that away from you.

*ENOUGH WITH THE BULLYING *

Rest In Peace Ashawnty Davis

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Embrace the Mess

We all experience some sort of hardships day and day, and sometimes we fail to overcome these challenges.Even if you haven’t chosen a hard path, you find yourself in a hard path. Almost everyone finds themselves in some sort of hard path.

The  journey you take now will be led by you alone. Don’t let that scare you…ow No! Let it liberate you.

Keep moving forward and don’t be frustrated when your path gets messy, because it will get messy.
You will fall and fail along the way…Wildly 

Embrace the Mess


These words were spoken by actress Octavia Spencer.

Moral behind the article:
Choose to embrace the Mess, the challenges and the failure you encounter as you’re slugging along.

Hardship = happiness only if you learn to embrace it. 


Though you are not supposed to try something expecting failure, have a mind to accept it and learn from it when something goes wrong. The lessons in life that help you grow the most are those taught by the challenges you go through.
Remember You can only truly be satisfied and happy with yourself if you understand that through hardship;

*you are not alone,

* that you are becoming a better person, 

*that “easy” is boring and gets you no where.




There will be days when you question what you do and how you do it…There will be days when you wonder if you should go ahead with something or stop because for some reason you are scared of how the people you love will react…

There will be days when you struggle with whether to turn down opportunities presented to you or take the risk and accept them…
Trust me these days will be there.If you haven’t already experienced them, you will someday…

These days will be there…but you have to remember this one thing;

Whatever you do in this world, make sure you do it for you…Yes at times not everyone will agree with what you want but remember you are the one that gets to deal with the consequences and not them...So if it will put your soul at peace, Go ahead and do it…not because someone said you should, but because you feel it’s what you want to do…
Tell yourself 

“I am doing this for me”

Chapter 22

Years ago I was just an infant…a tiny innocent soul. But that was 22 years ago.Today I get to start another chapter of my life…Chapter 22
Nothing says you are in your early 20s like a good ole’fashioned panic attack about your life choices and the fact that every move you make is extremely critical to the path you’re going to go down for the next 5 or 10 years… don’t get me wrong! I am thrilled to have made it this far. Growing old is a privilege denied to many and I thank God for being among the lucky ones.

Twenty two…A simple digit but, for a simple number it certainly brings more than just simplicity to ones’ life. I was never really one to worry much about life decisions, maybe because back then I had people make decisions for me.I didn’t have to face the challenges that came with making choices because it was simple… I didn’t have to make any.

The transition from 17 to the years of adulthood is one that many of us don’t really notice until we’re faced with some sort of challenges and realize that it’s not up to mummy or daddy anymore but rather it is up to us to actually come up with a solution.They say there’s nothing worse than regret. If there is one thing that I regret is the fact that I failed to enjoy my years of being a teenager and I assume many of you out there failed to do the same thing.

We were so ready to flap our wings and roam the world as we pleased.Most of us couldn’t wait for our 18th birthdays so we could finally tell our parents off and do as we pleased because we would finally be grown ups ( which I never tried doing 😂,they will kill me).That urge to finally be free from all the rules and regulations, that was what drove most of us. It was the one thing that we were looking forward to as we thought of ourselves as adults.

We were so focused preparing for the future that we forgot to live in the present moment.Some of us even skipped right ahead to being adults at the age of 13.We just couldn’t wait to make our own decisions and have no one complain as to why we chose to do or not do certain things or why we preferred to be or not to be something. That great feeling when you finally enter a bar and not be scared that you are underage.We were all so eager to get to the famous stage of adulthood…

and then adulthood met us.




It’s like one day you are 17 and you’re planning for someday.And then quietly,without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life...The eager to grow and be an adult subsides and the sentence “when I grow up”, ceases.We get to finally be free and get to make our own decisions as we’ve always imagined it would be but…yes there is a but because, it’s not exactly as we imagined it would be. There is no manual written “How to adult”

You get to figure out everything on your own, you get to be your own manual.You get to finally make your own mistakes and regret decisions made. You get more responsibilities on your shoulders and no one necessarily stands beside you to help you. You get to make important choices for yourself and take accountability for what you’ve chosen and you learn to recognize your weaknesses and either work on them or accept them. As if that’s not enough, you learn to enjoy being alone, you get to work on knowing yourself more, standing up for yourself and those around you. So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just GOOGLING YOURSELF and finding million answers that all seem to need more googling.

Sodas and juice boxes eventually become vodka and beer. Bikes become cars, pigtails turn into Brazilians and kisses become sex. You look back and remember when your dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth and your mom was your hero and realize now you get to climb walls and mountains and get to be your own hero. You remember only knowing physical pain as you skinned your knees and realize that for some reason physical pain wasn’t pain anymore because you get to be hurt emotionally. Heartbreak, headaches you name it. You remember how you couldn’t wait to grow up and for a few minutes you regret growing up so much that when you pick up a crying baby you think to yourself “it’s okay buddy,when you grow up you’ll learn how to do this on the inside”.

Your life becomes one Big “ I don’t know” and your moods circulate between I am too old for this, I am too tired for this, I am too sober for this and I don’t have time for this. It comes to a point where you have to choose between two directions…Lost or Very lost
Don’t be scared…that’s just part of it.

when you think you only have two options to choose from, being lost or very lost, you realize you are not lost or even very lost but instead you realize you are just on your way…On your way to better yourself, on your way to achieving what you want, and on your way to a whole new life out there.

Trust me there is perks to growing up. You remember those PG 16 rated movies that you weren’t allowed to watch, well you get to have a folder of movies like that. You get to enter places that say Parent supervision is advised…without your parents. You get to be invited to dinner dates and masquerade balls. Basically you get to explore and experience life on your own terms. And who wouldn’t want that? Who wouldn’t want to skip that Immunology class and stay in bed watching mistresses and Real husbands of Hollywood without faking a cold?



In the past I used to think, what if there was a button that I could push and all of the things that have complicated my life will just unhappen? I would push it and all of the people that shouldn’t have died would still be alive. I wouldn’t have hurt anyone or disappointed them. And no one would have hurt me or lied to me. And this whole mess would just be cleaned up.But then I grew up and so did my thinking. I realized if I pushed that button, I would be gone too. I realized I am me because of what has happened,what I’ve done and because of who I loved. I love that person. That me, messy and all.



As you age, Life gets interesting really.You realize everyone you meet has a part in your story. And while some may take a chapter, others take a paragraph, and most will be no more than scribbled notes in the margins.You change…it’s inevitable but, progression from one point to another is a choice you learn to make. You learn to be the one who matures and builds. You learn to be the one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart.You learn to be the one who looks for the best in people…and lastly you learn to leave people better than you found them. See the beauty in aging?l do😊
I will stop here.I will leave the rest to your own experiences.

 I don’t regret growing old. I am grateful for the fact that I got a shot at this once In a lifetime age. Thank you God. 

  
                                       

Just being 22 got me so curious I can’t wait for 92☺️



                                                                      Name: Aloisia 

                                                         Date of birth: 27th October 1995

                                      

How do I make what I do matter?

How do you know it’s worth it? How do you know the little you do is actually helping someone out there? How do you make what you do matter? These are the questions that we ask ourselves.
It is within our human nature to want to feel that whatever we are devoting the vast majority of our precious time and energy to, actually makes some kind of positive difference in our lives or in that of others. Just to feel like we have a purpose in this world. Nevertheless, the question still remains, how do I make what I do matter?

I personally failed to answer this question so I asked my friends for assistance…here are their opinions.

Taleni Pea :
Robert Smith once said, “whatever drives us, we all derive happiness from finding purpose.” But how do you know it’s worth it? How do you know the little you do is actually helping someone out there? How do you make what you do matter?

I’ve tried to think of all the many things that i can do. From making whatever it is i do, different from how any other person would do it, to being innovative and doing things with honor and dignity. But I’ve come to the conclusion that, at the end of the day, all the things i stress about in life don’t really matter all that much because someday, Yellowstone is going to explode and kill us all. Just think about that for a second…

At any moment, what we now know as Yellowstone could spew its guts up, killing everything in its path and rendering everything you think counts and matters totally insignificant. So nothing you do really matters that much.
Yes your work is meaningful and makes a difference. Yes you help a lot of people and that has a ripple effect. Yes you want to take your school and/or business seriously and make it a success. But at the end of the day, when the world blows up, will you be happy with the choices you made? With how you spent your time? With the risks you took? With the chances you gamble on?
Despite how ridiculous this may sound, I am serious. “Nothing you do really matter.” The one sure way to make what you do matter, is to believe it matters and it will. Nobody else has the power to make something important to you if not you. For something to matter you need to give power to it so that it matters even when someone comes across it, whatever it might be, they will respect it because it matters to you. So it begins with yourself. Whatever you do, if it serves a purpose and derives happiness within you, then you have made it matter.

Tina Nande :

•Do it as though You were doing it for yourself 

We live in a world obsessed with self-love. People can go to greater extends for themselves, now imagine if we went to greater extends in the purposes we serve as though we were serving ourselves. One can never make trash for themselves. This is why it has to matter to me first, if it is going to matter to anybody else. This I believe is the very first place to begin. Make it matter by doing it as though you were doing it for yourself.
•Take it out of the heart. 

I believe it is in the heart that purpose is hidden. And since I can modify the state of my heart, I can invest well into it, so that I can trust living out of it.

•Evaluate the state of your heart. 

From out of the heart, the issues of life flow”, so if my heart is filled with purpose and all that matters, then only things that matter will flow out of it. If I trust the state of my heart, then everything that has the warmth of my heart matters.

Make yourself believe it matters. 

If my mind is convinced that the purpose I serve here on the earth matters,

• Put in your all, then hope and pray it changes a life. 

I live with an understanding that the world only cares for what it can get from me, so why not make what I do for the world matter by sacrificing for it? It doesn’t have to be perfect to matter; it just has to be excellent.

• All in all, embrace your place. 

I believe that my part is indispensable and important, so much so that at times I don’t have to prove its importance; I just have to perform at my best. I was created because I was needed and that is proof enough that the purpose I serve matters. 

There you go,
I have asked many others and eventually they all came to one specific conclusion...It should matter to you…You’ve got to identify what matters to you and do just that. You might feel insignificant because you can’t see how your work really changes the world but remember that you are the one that holds the power to make whatever you do meaningful and uplifting to others.

What you do in this world is as meaningful as you make it

Random reminder 

So you sit there and wonder if anything you’ve done is worth it. You question not only your existence but you go deeper and wonder if there was or if there is any purpose to your being…
Stop!!

Maybe before today you didn’t know what your purpose was

Maybe you had no idea as to why God even bothered to wake you up this very morning 

Maybe…just maybe

Maybe you felt out of place when you woke up today. 

Well end the negative thoughts 

You still have today to start again.

 

                                                                 “One day? Or day one”

          

                                              

     You decide